This isn't how I wanted my season to end. Injured. Demoralized. Burnt out.
But I've missed the last two races I wanted to do because I waited to the last minute to sign up. I didn't want to commit and then decide to bail at the last second, so I planned (instead) to sign up at the last second. But triathlons are becoming more and more popular in this part of the country, I guess, and both of those races ended up sold out.
The important part, though, is that my hesitance to commit to these races tells me that I probably don't even want to do them. And probably shouldn't do them. And should probably just close out the season already so that I can get excited about my life again (although I don't think my dismal attitude is entirely the fault of triathlon; I've got a lot of irons in the fire right now).
I have two more events: the Stonebridge Ranch Triathlon in Texas, which is mostly an excuse to roadtrip with a few friends, and the Tulsa Half-Marathon (which was going to be a marathon, but with this pain in my ass, there's no way I'm going to be able to build up to sufficient volume without doing some long-term damage). I might also throw in a little triathlon at Lake Afton for next week, just to see what I can do.
But honestly? I'm not planning to work too hard for any of these races. I'm well past my peak fitness. I'm well past my priority A events. I'm well past my patience for this sport. And it's time to back off, before I end up hating it.
Which means it's time to think cross-training. Which is actually very exciting.
First of all (believe it or not), I have actually been enjoying time on the elliptical trainer. I know. I know. It's insane. I've always hated the elliptical machine with a fiery passion that burns deep in my stomach. It's boring. You don't go anywhere. It's not running, biking, or swimming.
Come to think of it, that's probably why I enjoy it so much, right now. Plus, I can read a book while I'm on it.
I also got to go to the Kansas Cliff Club this weekend (on a date that was not a date . . . oh man, don't even get me started on that little escapade), and did a little bit of climbing. I forgot how much I enjoy climbing, what a great workout it is, and that I'm actually pretty good at it. So this triathlete is seriously considering sacrificing her plans of Masters Swimming for a membership to the Cliff Club, at least for the fall/winter.
Also? Yoga. Jamie loves yoga. Jamie would like to learn to teach yoga. It's quite appropriate to the laid-back (read: pot-smoking) side of her personality. So I'm loading up on the yoga classes and discussing with a friend the possibility of one-on-one yoga practice.
But it's hard to let go of the sport that I love and for which I've worked so hard, even for just a little while.